If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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