i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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