You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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