so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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