So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
