Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
