I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
