just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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