she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
