I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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