Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
