I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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