i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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