Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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