I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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