You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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