Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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