Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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