Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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