so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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