Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
