i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
