you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
