I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and she was petting her beer can
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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