mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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