so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
