I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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