So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
