Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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