Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

(651): View more from Minnesota

again?

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(831): View more from California

I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!

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(310): View more from California

Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube

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