Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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