He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
