so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I understand Curling. That high.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
