Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
