are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
