dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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