I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
