Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
