I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
