he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
