Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize