Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We don't watch enough power rangers
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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