I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
