Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
