i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
