Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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