i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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