The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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