How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I fill condoms, not promises.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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