A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
