I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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