just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Panties = found
Randomize
