I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
