I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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