under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
