She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
