he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
